Friday, July 27, 2012

Phoenix Rising


The first few lines of this poem just came to me while I was trying to go to sleep. They were so emotional that I had to write them down. Once I started writing I couldn't stop and this is the result, without editing or review. It's very descriptive of my life and I think the words and the imagery are beautiful, I even cried a little while writing. I decided that I couldn't wait to post it and see what ya'll thought about it.



I am falling, tumbling
The ground rises to break me
My wings are shattered, torn
They cannot hold me, cannot lift me
I am fragile, broken
An empty shell
Lying still, I breathe
Trying to think, I dream
I remember flying high
Soaring through the clouds
My world was shattered, broken
No one can help me now
I scream, I wail
No one can hear my cry
I feel the flames
They torch my soul
Tonight is where I die


My sins are my funeral pyre
I blaze in the glorious fire
I am burnt, I am scorched
I am rekindled, I am new
I rise from the ashes that I once was
I soar from the pain that I once knew
Reborn from the flame
Renewed from the fire
Wrapped in gowns of crimson
My feathers are tipped in gold
Now a vermilion fire-bird
I cry with a strength of ages untold
Soaring again in the heavens
I embrace my beautiful release
What once was my death note taken
Is now my power and peace
Away I fly from the horror
From the sins of a past gone to rest
I rise like the flames of the pyre
A phoenix rising to the test.

After I finished writing I noticed that the first stanza is very sharp and the lines are kinda clipped and blunt. There is also not a lot of rhyming. However the lines in the second stanza are long and flowing with several rhymes. I also noticed that the vocabulary became richer in the second stanza. Again there was no editing involved I basically vomited on paper (a phrase from my high school Lit teacher) and then posted it straight away. I don't usually edit things, especially poetry, because I believe there is a reason why I chose that phrasing in that instant of time and that reason can add depth and meaning to your work. I would love to hear your reviews of this and your takes on the symbolism behind the differences in the stanzas. Oh and I know I used the first pic before on my magickal names post, but I thought the scene fit really well with the overall imagery of the poem. And yes the second is supposed to be Phoenix from the X-men (yes I am a nerd) but again I thought it fit well. Here are two more that I liked and that I think fit well. P.S. I get the majority of my pictures from Deviant Art, I love the artwork on there and the people are amazingly talented. 




Well I am going back to bed now to rest my weary wings and renew my burnt batteries. I hope you all have sweet dreams and restful sleeps.

As always Blessed Be and lots of love!!

7 comments:

  1. I like i like :-)

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  2. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

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  3. Beautiful.

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  4. The poem is Raw much like life .....glad you didn't edit it ... Fire is like life what doesn't kill us makes us stronger ...... Blessed Be

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  5. Thank you so much for the comment. This is an especially poignant piece for me. The phoenix is my moniker and my symbol for many reasons, paramount is the fact that I have had to deal with a great deal of heartache and disappointment in the past. But instead of destroying me those trials made me stronger. I love the raw beauty of this poem because it expresses that feeling of being torn apart and remade again. It makes me happy that other people can appreciate the meaning behind this as well.

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  6. Absolutely Amazing!!!

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  7. This is so necro.. but I wanted you to know I loved this. Call it Spirit, call it the Collective Unconscious; you were tapped in to something when you wrote this. The sense of urgency, the change of "voice" as you went along, the strong desire not to edit what was given you to write. It is not to say you are not talented. All the best, imo, artists and scientists, tap in to that same Source. Blessed Be.

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